A Message For Woody Allen (VIDEO)
No, Woody Allen is not a practicing, committed Jew; some would even say that his Jewish identity is inconsequential to his lifestyle and loyalties. That said, Woody has never, ever hidden the fact that he is a Jew and has certainly used his Jewish heritage in promoting his persona as a narcissistic, neurotic, kevetchy Nu Yorka.
No one is asking Woody to join a shul; give to the Jewish Federation, or even give a talk at the 92nd Street Y. But would it kill one of the most celebrated Jewish directors, actors and Hollywood personalities in the world today to give a visit to the homeland of his people?
Woody, bubala, give your fellow Jews a bit of nachess by not only visiting Israel but filming your next movie there. Come’on boychick, drop in on Tel Aviv for a few days and nights of cosmopolitan fun as good as you’ll find anywhere. Wander around the Old City Of Jerusalem to find out once and for all what old really means. Visit the topless beach in Eilat with your camera. 100% guarantee, you’ll fall in love with Israel and want to do a movie there.
In fact, here’s a possible storyline that would be right up your alley:
A neurotic, overly sensitive Israeli boy with a domineering mother, dreads having to do his 3 years of required military service. Water guns make him nervous. He can’t imagine himself handling a real gun and let alone having to participate sent in violent confrontations. At the Bar Mitzvah that he didn’t want to have, he hatches a plan: He will spend his high school years learning how to cook. Then, when the time comes for him to join the IDF, his culinary skills will be noted and he will be assigned to kitchen duty where he will spend the next 3 years shtupping hot female Israeli soldiers in the walk-in refrigerator between the brisket and kugals!
Let’s make this happen people! Support the “Woody Allen Project.”